Breaking the Habit
by love4Severus
Summary: A young boy in a time of distress, and fear tries to solve his mistake. Rate M for blood and selfmutilation


_A/N: This is an entry for the Hideaway Songfic Contest. Any character name you may recognize is not mine. The plot might be mine…but in today's world how can you be sure! _

_The lyrics are "Breaking the Habit" by Linkin Park. I don't know what inspired this fic, but this has actually been in my mind for a while now. It's rated M for blood and self-mutilation. If this makes you squirm, then I suggest you don't read further._

Lightening raced across the sky, illuminating the dank dungeon room. A scrawny boy, a recent graduate of Hogwarts, came stumbling into the room and slamming the door angrily behind him. He never paid attention to the wound in his side, which was bleeding profusely on the ground.

_Memories consume  
Like opening the wound  
I'm picking me apart again  
You all assume  
I'm safe here in my room  
Unless I try to start again_

A bolt of lightening shot across the sky again illuminating the pain in the boy's eyes. Thunder rumbled deep within shaking the boy to the core. Instantly, his eyes began to glare at a spot at the floor and he clutched a glass bottle on the table near him and smashed it against the wall silently.

_I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused_

The bottle shattered, its contents spilling all over the wall making puddles onto the ground. The boy stared at the glass angrily, almost like he was blaming the glass for shattering itself. Suddenly, he thrust up is left arm letting the torn, loose sleeve fall. He glared at his arm before casting a silencing charm on the door. He took a deep breath and let out an ear-splitting scream.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I know it's not alright  
So I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight_

The boy screamed, tears rolling down his cheeks. He gripped his left arm until his knuckles turned white before collapsing the ground in front of the smashed glass. He lay there, clawing at his arm as if trying to remove a terrible mark on his arm. The boy sat up quickly searching for something to remove his problem. Anything. 

_Clutching my cure  
I tightly lock the door  
I try to catch my breath again  
I hurt much more  
Than anytime before  
I had no options left again_

His sharp eyes scanned the room, and fell on the broken glass in front of him. His right arm shaking, he reached out and took the largest piece he could find. He picked the glass up and held it up in front of him. As the lightening flashed, the glass lit up like a beacon of hope. He brought the piece down, both hands shaking profusely. He pricked himself with the glass, a small cut, but large enough to draw blood. He picked up the glass from his skin and stared at it, memorized at the blood running off the glass making a small puddle next to the larger one the wound in his side had produced.

_I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize  
That I'm the one confused_

The boy flashed back the evening's events while gazing at the glass. Killings…torture…blood…raced through his young mind. He had the sudden urge to scream again. He clutched the glass in his hand, hoping that his crude tool would help to free him from his mistake. Blood began to drip from his hand. But he was numb to the pain.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I'll never be alright  
So, I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight_

His deep black eyes seemed strangely empty as he watch the blood drip down from his palm onto the stone floor. He looked once more at the blood that was still dripping off his arm. He dropped the glass and stared at his now bloody hand.  
_  
I'll paint it on the walls  
'Cause I'm the one at fault  
I'll never fight again  
And this is how it ends_

He dipped a finger into the blood and stared at the mark on his left arm. He could still see it. Anger flashed in his eyes. He wanted to be rid of that mark once and for all. The emptiness appeared in his eyes once more as he began to wipe his blood covered finger on his mark. A strange grin crossed his lips as the mark began to slowly become colored in his blood, but it wasn't completely gone. He took his entire hand and clasped it over his mark. As he lifted his hand, a bloody hand print appeared on his mark. Yet, he could still see it.

_I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
But now I have some clarity  
to show you what I mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I'll never be alright  
So, I'm breaking the habit  
I'm breaking the habit   
I'm breaking the habit  
Tonight_

The mark just wouldn't disappear. He growled loudly at the piece of glass that had ended up on the floor. He picked it up and hurled it over his shoulder to an unknown destination. His breathing began to pick up as he began to worry about how he was going to fix this terrible mistake. The boy's eyes began to mist up and he ran his bloody hand through his already dirty hair. He slowly rocked back and forth on his heels, his breathing increasing with worry. Suddenly, and slowly, Snape mumbled to himself, "I need to see Dumbledore."


End file.
